Saying No
In a newsletter from a fellow coach, Michael Bungay Stanier, I received these definitions of great work and good work:
1. Work that goes beyond its functional intention and moves us in deep and mysterious ways, we call great work.
2. Work that is conceived and executed with elegance and rigor, we call good work.
Michael then goes on to ask the question:
What would you have to say "no" to, to double the amount of Great Work in your life?
Yes, indeed. What would I have to say "no" to?
I have given alot of thought to my theme for 2006, Boldness and Fun. What I've realized is that Boldness is just as much what we say "no" to as what we say "yes" to. There is boldness in whittling down my projects to bet on work that will move me in deep and mysterious ways.
A related thought that keeps coming up in my life: Focus on the good stuff.
This applies to everything from deciding whether to eat the store brand ice cream my son picked out, to the unread books in my office that I'm not compelled now or in the future to read (even if I did get them for free), to the pens in my pen holder that I'll never use because I have my favorite Pilot G-2's. The same goes for movies, projects, television shows, relationships, newsletters. When I spend time and energy (or calories) on the less than good stuff, I'm usually disappointed, with a vague feeling of dissatisfaction. The question then appears, "Why settle for a less than Great Experience?"
Which brings me to my last point. This blog is meant to provide a great experience. For me and for you. If you find that it's not, let me know. And move on to focusing on the good stuff for yourself. I'm picky about the blogs that I spend time reading and you should be as well.
1. Work that goes beyond its functional intention and moves us in deep and mysterious ways, we call great work.
2. Work that is conceived and executed with elegance and rigor, we call good work.
Michael then goes on to ask the question:
What would you have to say "no" to, to double the amount of Great Work in your life?
Yes, indeed. What would I have to say "no" to?
I have given alot of thought to my theme for 2006, Boldness and Fun. What I've realized is that Boldness is just as much what we say "no" to as what we say "yes" to. There is boldness in whittling down my projects to bet on work that will move me in deep and mysterious ways.
A related thought that keeps coming up in my life: Focus on the good stuff.
This applies to everything from deciding whether to eat the store brand ice cream my son picked out, to the unread books in my office that I'm not compelled now or in the future to read (even if I did get them for free), to the pens in my pen holder that I'll never use because I have my favorite Pilot G-2's. The same goes for movies, projects, television shows, relationships, newsletters. When I spend time and energy (or calories) on the less than good stuff, I'm usually disappointed, with a vague feeling of dissatisfaction. The question then appears, "Why settle for a less than Great Experience?"
Which brings me to my last point. This blog is meant to provide a great experience. For me and for you. If you find that it's not, let me know. And move on to focusing on the good stuff for yourself. I'm picky about the blogs that I spend time reading and you should be as well.
6 Comments:
I recently read Cheryl Richardson's Take Time for Your Life and the biggest thing I took away from it was about passing up good for great. I love that concept.
I recently read Cheryl Richardson's Take Time for Your Life and the biggest thing I took away from it was about passing up good for great. I love that concept.
Hi Stefani,
Thanks for reminding me of Cheryl's concept. I saw Cheryl speak in November at the International Coach Federation conference. Someone from the audience asked her how she keeps her life in balance. Her response was striking.
She chuckled that everyone thinks her life is chaotic. But because she measures everything she does by whether it's an "Absolute YES!" she creates a reasonable work schedule. She even cited her travel schedule--just a couple of work trips a year. Period. She said most people would consider her crazy for turning down the opportunities that come her way.
Clearly, the Absolute YES! rule is an anchor for her life. A "Great YES!" is not the same.
So I use the "Absolute YES!" rule now. The words make me notice how something feels--is it solid to the core, am I excited? And I could stand to use it even more.
'Focus on the good stuff,' I love that! Or, better said, 'focus on the great stuff,' or the 'best stuff,' or the 'WOW stuff!'
I just said no this morning to a request for help. I have such programming around that, that even though it's not even a request for what I do, I still felt a little guilty. It passed quickly. Life's too short to NOT focus on the great stuff.
I saw Cheryl speak at my first coaching conference in 2000 (it was a Coach U conference). She was totally moving. I believe she's cut WAY back on her travel these days, and loves that she can now reach thousands of people through her Hay House Radio Show without even leaving home. She's such a great role model!
Finally, I love your blog and read it faithfully, though I don't always have time to comment ... or anything to add. So, rock on.
I do have one suggestion, though ... for those who don't know you, please post a picture ... the picture from your site perhaps? Since I DO know you, I always have your picture in the back of my mind when I read, but for those who don't, it would make it even more personal and even more YOU!
I just want to say thank you for this important reminder. I'm currently reading "Time Management from the Inside-out" to help me work through my ongoing time struggles. I was excited to see the topic of your blog. It's a powerful reminder of "common sense that's not so common". Why is it that the first word that most kids learn ("no") becomes increasingly difficult to say in later years? Hmmm?
After many years of saying "Yes", I've finally learned to say "No". I was spreading myself too thin and losing myself in the process.
Thanks for all your great insight :)
~Maria Palma
The Good Life
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